wite-out conditions

I've decided I should not, under any conditions, be allowed to come in contact with or attempt to use Wite-Out, Liquid Paper, or any other type of correction fluid. Every time I use it, I make a huge mess and end up with white splotches all over my hands, face, desk, and on the paper in places it shouldn't have been in the first place.

It reminds me of painting--I'm not good at that either. When painting the inside of our house, my grandfather assigned me to paint the inside of closets. I splattered paint everywhere, missed spots, and was incapable of even distribution. Judging by my Wite-Out skills, I shouldn't have been allowed to paint any portion of house, visible or not. (No wonder my mom knocked down that green wall I painted.)

Today, idiotically, I tried to apply correction fluid to a teeny tiny mistake on a paper that sat on a 45° angle. Naturally, it dripped down, covering not the mistake, but the words under it, which I will poorly attempt to disguise later by over-writing the typed letters with a pen.

Part of the problem is that if not enough fluid is on the little spongy wand (what happened to the little brushy wand?) , you get these long stringy pieces of solidified goo, so I soak the wand, then too much fluid comes on it and it dribbles all over the place. I've tried using the finer-pointed correction pens, but half the time you can't get any liquid at ALL out of those. Then I switched to correction tape, which works well most of the time if I can cut it to a small enough piece, but it doesn't always fit well in narrow, hard-to-reach places. So instead I end up with this over-saturated spongy wand that leaves a 1/4 inch high blob of white goo, which I try to smush down by pushing on it, which pops the bubble and leaks fluid all over my hands.

Then I get an itch on my nose and scratch it, unknowingly spreading the mess. Paper clips stick to my tacky hands, and next thing I know the mess has spread to my elbows, there are white fingerprints on my phone, and there's a droplet of it on my shirt. This happens EVERY TIME I use Wite-Out. What is WRONG with me?? It's not--or shouldn't be--that hard to use.

I'm sure someone's answer would be to stop making mistakes. Well, I don't. I'm perfect. I'm just hazardously whiting out other people's errors. So there.