city of endless horrors?

Don't worry, I don't mean things-that-go-boom horrors, I mean scary people horrors, like the girl I saw yesterday.

After a long class in which my 10-minute presentation turned into an hour-long one thanks to the inquisitive nature of my I'll-speak-when-I-damn-well-please professor, my colleague and I decided to go get a drink. We had no idea what was near the school for bars, so we headed to Times Square, a couple blocks away, to see what we could find.

What we found was three feet in front of us on the sidewalk: a giant ass. Figuratively and literally. Some girl, almost definitely a tourist due to a) close proximity to Times Square and b) non-existent fashion sense of right and wrong, was walking with her friend. The girl, you see, was wearing those super low-cut jeans, probably a size 6. The problem was, her ass was a size 16. The jeans had no where to go but down, and not only was there flesh spilling out of the top of the pants, but a good inch and a half of her ass crack was hanging out for the world to see.

And as if that weren't enough!! She also had on a "shirt" whose front we could not see, but whose back was non-existent--literally mere threads crossed her back, exposing all the flesh that led right down to the inch and a half of exposed--and unpretty--ass crack.

Kristen, my colleague, covered her eyes and said "Oh, goodnight! Goodnight moon!" I laughed in horror as the round one stumbled down the street, unable to walk because the jeans were just so tight on her. Kristen also mentioned she wished she had a camera for Glamour Don'ts . I nodded, suggesting even they may not print such a horrible sight.

Now I'm not suggesting that I'm a fashionita, a versace whore, or anything of the like. But I DO suggest that I know when something is completely nauseating and offensive to the rest of the world, and I DO like to think that the people I know and trust would NOT let me out of the house like that. No one should ever have to see anything like that. This girl, and her silent friend, should be shot. I hope Times Square ate them alive.