6.13.2005

"Must...control...fist...of death!!"

I'm having one of those "on the verge" moments. I'm either about to scream, punch someone, or write a lot. OOOoooooh am I MAD!!

I just had a meeting with my boss and 8 other editors. At this meeting, I presented to my boss the 3-page list of issues and complaints that I have compiled from the 8 other editors regarding a new online database we are about to unveil.

So I gave him the list, and distributed copies to the editors. Bossman started to read through the items out loud, one at a time, until he got to something that clearly confused his pea-sized idiot brain, most likely due to the fact that he shanks all responsibilities and had no context for the terminology on the list.

"Is this English?" he asked, laughing in mockery amidst my peers. I bit my tongue and tried to decapitate him with the strength of my dirty glare. "What is this improper syntax? What horrible writing. Can someone please help Stephanie re-write this so it's readable?"

I bit my lip, sighed, and rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms.

"I'll do it. Myself." I said, every word dripping with disgust.

There are many things that I am not. I am not a superstar athlete. I am not a high-ranking public official. I am not an accomplished attorney. But what I AM....what I AM is a writer. I KNOW my syntax. I KNOW my grammar. I do NOT need someone to re-write ANYTHING penned by my hand. THIS MUCH I KNOW.

Now I have officially HAD IT. I can ignore (while silently documenting) the improper stares at my breasts. I can ignore (while suspecting wildly) the alleged intra-office drug deals exchanged in mysterious brown envelopes. I can even look past the complete lack of management skills or editorial function. BUT DO NOT CHALLENGE MY WRITING!!

He's going down in a fiery ball of despicable, inappropriate fury. PERIOD.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Luffy said: This ignorant and rude man is your BOSS? When you're more intelligent than the boss there's bound to be trouble. He's just too stupid to acknowledge it.

Sparky said...

Trust me, saying he's "too stupid to acknowledge it" is giving him WAY more credit than he deserves. My best guess about his continued employment is that he must have some incredibly damning Polaroids of the higher-ups or something.

Anonymous said...

You're right on the money!!!

Anonymous said...

Post a paragraph of what you wrote and get an opinion from your blog readers. Your boss may well be an idiot but you may also be too close to your creation to see it clearly. None the less, to criticize your work in front of others is not at all professional. He comments were made to berate you in public and for that he should be held accountable. He sounds like a immature asshole.

Steph said...

Update:

Being my spiteful self, I re-distributed the Document In Question to my peers today, sarcastically noting that it was hopefully a more "readable" version.

A co-worker just approached me and said, "I meant to pull you aside yesterday after the meeting. There was absolutely nothing wrong with your writing. And I know others agree. He just wasn't even reading it. And he makes inappropriate comments like that in front of the group all the time. He's done it to all of us. It's nothing personal. It's just wrong."

I thanked her for her kind words, and said I knew it wasn't personal, and that it was unfounded and idiotic. I just can't believe that he continues to find ways to surprise me with his lack of professionalism. Fucking moron.

Anonymous said...

I can only hope that he reads your blog, 'tho I'm not sure he can read!

Anonymous said...

Guys like that - big bad talk = little dick.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what that says about the guy who says NOTHING! WAHOO!