the subway games we play.

I realized this morning that I am a sick and demented human being.

There are certain nuances of the subway that, as a passenger, you learn through day after day of repetition or, in other cases, through making mistakes. For example, you learn where to stand to wait for the train so as to get dropped off at the destination near the exit. Or how to maneuver through the car stop by stop so that you are near the doors when it's time to get off.

So after you ride on the subway enough, the same line, the same tracks, the same stops, day after day, you learn even the subtleties such as which way the train lurches and when. On my trip downtown, it's more or less a straight shot until...

When the train leaves 42nd St, headed to 33rd, you have about 5-10 seconds after the train has completely left the station before there is a sharp lurch to the right. Being a fast learner, I only needed to fly across the train into the arms (and coffee cups) of complete strangers before learning to brace for this jolt. But others are not so aware.

So now every morning, I find myself mentally preparing for The Big Lurch. I change the position of my feet to be parallel to the jolt for better balance, I make sure I'm holding on to something, and perhaps most importantly, I look around to see who doesn't know better and will end up flying across the train. Smart people who didn't know better would at least be in tune with the squealing sound of the train's wheels as they hit a curve in the tracks and grab something in the remaining 2 seconds. But no.

Yesterday, someone wasn't prepared and launched sideways, smashing into this guy who had no chance at recovering. With a linebacker-like grunt, he took the hit before his newspaper flew into the air and he crashed into some little old woman who was sitting in front of him. Amusingly, frustratingly, few people apologize for these collisions, despite the fact they often cause disruptions and damage to beverages, newspapers, or even eyeglasses.

So today as we left 42nd St., I silently mused over the crowd at the door who jammed their way onto the train and now had nothing to hold onto. This, I thought, will be fun. The doors closed, the train rolled, and 5....4....3....**squealing wheels**....2....

LURCH! As expected, a good 4 or 5 people took headers toward the opposite side of the train. Some caught themselves with poles or by grabbing onto other people. But those idiot hotshots who think they can ride with no handhold and put their hands in their pockets--THEY went sailing! And I just cracked up.

A nicer person with more concerns over the Life Eternal might have said "Hey folks, you may want to grab on to something." But I, you see, am not that person. Rather, I'm the one who gets a sick kick--and a blog--out of not speaking up and letting them take flight. Because it's funny for me, especially when they think they recovered, act all cool like it never happened, then get tossed for surprise lurch #2. Haha. It's funny.