11.16.2004

mack daddy.

When I started school in September, I learned that to get to my classes on the upper floors, I had to get past "Security." Security is two guys in blue blazers with some soft of emblem on their chest who scan for IDs as you walk past and line up for elevators.

So somewhere around week 2, when I got to school, one of the security guards started giving me the "hey girl, how YOU doin'" lip-licking, crotch-grabbing salute popular among the bruthas. Three days a week for two months in a row, I walked by this guy, and most often failed to suppress a smile or laugh at his gestures when I walked by. He stared me down every time. I don't think he was looking for an ID.

Then last week I walked in one day, and tried to avoid the Mack Daddy by going to the other guard for the ID scan. But over my shoulder I heard, "Hellooooo. Hellooooo girl. Beautiful." Again, laughing, I'd turn and smile and say hello. "Aw thank you," he said. "You made my night." The next day was more of the same, and it was clear that I could not just bypass this guy without him chasing me down.

Finally on Thursday, my last day of classes, I smiled and walked in as normal. An hour and a half later, I left class early to get a ride that was waiting for me downstairs. But I was late, so I bolted down the hall for the elevator, and when I turned the corner.....

There he was. All 5'7" of him. Licking his lips, giving me the pout, and holding an elevator door open. "Going...down?" he said, remniscent of an old Aerosmith video. "Yes," I sighed, too late to wait for another lift. So I climbed in, and about 8 people got in behind me.

The car was packed and I was separated from my admirer, who continued to look me up and down through the crowd. To my dismay, the elevator went UP, up to the 10th floor instead of down to the ground. The other 8 people got off, leaving me along with...

"My name's Kevin. What's your name?"

"Stephanie."

"Stephanie. You got a boyfriend?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of? Oh I'll take sort of. That means it ain't locked down yet."

I just smiled, because I have no misapprehensions about being locked down to anything.

"I'll tell you what, Stephanie. If it don't work out with Mr. Sort Of, you lemmie know."

"Sure thing," I told Kevin as I silently willed the elevator to the ground floor.

The doors opened and I bolted out, trying to get outside to my ride, aka No Apprehensions/Mr. Sort Of. I got held up in foot traffic, and Kevin continued to talk to me.

"Well Stephanie, you have a good night, beautiful. I'll see you again soon."

"Uh, thanks. You too. Bye!"

I ran outside and hopped in the car, slamming the door shut behind me. When I looked up, Kevin was there. He'd followed me outside and watched me get into the car. As we pulled away, I made certain not to wave.

The fun part is, I still have to see Kevin tonight, and tomorrow night, and the next night, and onward as such for the next, oh, 3 years. Let's just hope he stays out of the elevators.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whatchoo got against brotha's yo.
"Once you go black, you never go back."

And in my case, once you go brown, you'll be sticking 'round!

Bet his got big feet! He must have big....shoes.

Anonymous said...

Three words for you: MORE PEPPER SPRAY!

Steph said...

Just for the record--I got NO problems with the bruthas, black, brown or otherwise. They're the only ones who appreciate my ass! I even wrote about it a few months ago: Untitled Story About My Ass