(I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this post East Harlem Katie, who will understand my pain.)
The past weekend was a gorgeous one. I enjoyed three long late-summer days of blue skies and sunshine, billowy clouds, and the drool-inducing aroma of barbecues throughout Central and Prospect Parks. By mid-day Monday, Labor Day, all I wanted was a barbecue to call my own. Cheeseburgers, hot dogs, dribbles of ketchup and mustard, macaroni salad, bbq chicken that was just a little crispy and too good to waste a finger-lickin' on a napkin. Mmmm-mm.
Being that I have no yard, nor a grill, nor had I any outstanding invitations to someone else's yard or grill, I decided to do the best I could and have a kitchecue. I went with my pal Katie to the market, and I browsed the aisles for wannabe barbecue items, like hot dogs, kilbasa, lemonade, and most importantly -- potato chips. Together, Katie and I pondered which of the million kinds of potato chips to savor. I got a bag of regular Lays to have with onion dip (YUM!) and then a bag of the forever awesome KC Masterpiece barbecue flavored ones. Mmm. Labor Day would be fantastic yet!
When I got home, I mixed my onion dip and feasted on chips. DEEELISH! Of course, I ate so much of it that I had to wait a few hours before making hot dogs and beans and pasta salad. YUMMMY! And then I had to wait a whole other day to eat the rest of the food...
Last night, I got home from work and went immediately for the prized KC Masterpiece barbecue chips. I peeled open the bag and chomped away with satisfying crunches while I prepared more pasta salad and the kilbasa. When my food was cooked and my plate loaded up satisfactorily, I went in the other room to watch a movie while I ate bite after delicious bite.
At the end of the movie, I picked up my plate and headed back into the kitchen to clean up. But I heard something funny, and when I looked up, I saw a small, grey, furry, four-legged creature with a tail bolted OUT OF MY POTATO CHIP BAG!!! I froze in horror and amazement. I have never, EVER had a mouse. Not at this apartment, not at ANY. I can deal with the roaches, I can exterminate the centipedes, but a MOUSE?? Oh HELL NO.
He scampered across the counter, over the stove, and behind it. I stood and watched, paralyzed by my genetic inability to cope with rodents. After a few minutes, when I was sure he was gone (and by "gone" I mean "out of my sight so I could pretend he didn't exist"), I walked towards the potato chips and looked inside the bag. I honestly wasn't sure if I was more upset that I had a mouse, or that the little fucker went after my potato chips. My BARBECUE potato chips!! Because now, of course, I had to throw them away. That, and the 3/4 roll of kilbasa that I'd left on the counter, not expecting company would eat it while my back was turned.
I cleaned up and got ready for bed, which meant sleeping with one light on and my eyes closed tight. My studio doesn't have a bedroom door, no barrier with which I may pretend the mouse is on THAT side and I am safely tucked away on THIS side. Instead, I just have to believe he went back to wherever the fuck he got in, and he shan't be returning. So help me, if I see that little bastard again, he is so....so....he is so going to get whatever he wants because I'll be in the other room standing on the couch screaming.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
6 comments:
Oh Stepha! Sorry to hear this... dunno how you're gonna handle the sitch, but if you get a snap-trap, be sure to tie it to something so the lil bastard can't run off with his head caught in it!
Also, peanut butter does a great job in attracting them to the trap, but be sure to spread it on the bait-triggrer so as to make it really stick well... then he has to work hard enough to trigger it while trying to get the bait.
And also, WATCH YOUR FINGERS!
;)
and don't be surprised to find a trap empty of both mouse AND peanut butter!!!
Gross, Gross, Gross!!! When you said a grey tail I immediately thought of a squirrel. Ewwwwwwwww! Remember my friggen squirrel incident! GROSS!
Sorry Sis! As much as I hate cats they're good for one thing. Well, actually not. They still hold us responsible for picking up the mice that they leave dead on the front step. Scratch that!!
hmm...you should reconsider getting a cat. Except I think seeing a cat eat a mouse would be even more disgusting.
...and cats don't usually eat mice, but leave them there for you which is ALSO gross! How about a hawk? They WILL eat the rotten little things with nothing to pick up later!!! Just go outside and whistle and you'll see them. :o)
Get a schnauzer -they will catch way more than any cat. Our cat has caught 1 mouse in 7 years, the schnauzers catch at least 3-4 a year. Our mice have transported dry cat food from the 1st floor to inside boxes on the 2nd floor filled w/x-mas ornaments. Yes, the joys of country living, and city too! Nasty bastards.
Post a Comment