Two weeks after I moved in to the new apartment, I finally call the energy company to set up my gas account, so I can cook food again sometime in the future, and they say they can't turn it on because the prior tenant has an overdue account on the apartment. Greaaaat. So I have to go to the main office, downtown Brooklyn, between 8-5 on Monday thru Friday, and show two forms of photo ID, a prior utility bill (from Florida), and the best part -- a copy of my lease, WHICH I HAVEN'T RECEIVED YET from my management company.
And if that's not enough, the monotone customer service dude, Otis, says he'll set me up as a prospective customer in the system to speed up my process (sounds good, right?), and asks for my social security number. I give it to him, and he says there's an old account in Massachusetts that used my SSN, but is under the name Tiana Miles. TIANA MILES!?! He gave me the address, it's Dorchester. Now I know I've lived a lot of places, but I ain't never lived in Dorchester. When I ask him how I fix that, he says the fine folks at the main office can help me when I go with my 2 forms of photo ID, a prior utility bill, and the imaginary copy of my damn lease. Super duper.
So yeah. I guess I'll be sticking to my milk and cereal diet for a little bit longer.
By the way - Does anyone know a Tiana Miles in Dorchester???
10.24.2008
10.19.2008
Hi ho, cheerio!
Well kids, looks like it’s Cheerios for dinner again. Yay!
This marks the fifth night of eight that I’ve had Cheerios for dinner, and the third night that I had Cheerios for dinner after also eating them for breakfast.
I know you’re wondering why.
The first night I was in my new apartment, I ran to the bodega across the street and bought toilet paper and milk. For a week, that milk has been the only thing in my fridge besides water…and the fridge instructions and warranty that are still in the meat drawer. I have no meat or perishable foods of any kind because, well…
Here’s the thing. I’ve had no time to call the gas company and schedule them to come turn on the gas in my apartment. This means I have no stove or oven to cook meals on or in. For the moment, the stove is purely for decoration, and/or for storing sweaters.
I realize the next logical jump for most people is “Well, use the microwave!” But, I don’t have one. My last apartment had one built in, so I got rid of mine, and…now I have nothing. (Makes me rather wish I’d kept the toaster oven that burned everything I put in it – even charred crap is a variation from Cheerios with milk.)
But as I told my concerned grandmother today – don’t worry. For starters, there’s a nice layer of fat around my ass that will surely sustain me if my nutritional well-being starts to wane. But also, there’s a cafeteria at work, and I eat normal, non-Cheerios meals there for lunch Monday thru Friday.
Furthermore, there is an end in sight to this whole grain madness. You see, the box is running low, and I will soon run out and be forced to eat something else from the cupboard…like corn flakes. (But when those run out, I’m really in trouble.)
This marks the fifth night of eight that I’ve had Cheerios for dinner, and the third night that I had Cheerios for dinner after also eating them for breakfast.
I know you’re wondering why.
The first night I was in my new apartment, I ran to the bodega across the street and bought toilet paper and milk. For a week, that milk has been the only thing in my fridge besides water…and the fridge instructions and warranty that are still in the meat drawer. I have no meat or perishable foods of any kind because, well…
Here’s the thing. I’ve had no time to call the gas company and schedule them to come turn on the gas in my apartment. This means I have no stove or oven to cook meals on or in. For the moment, the stove is purely for decoration, and/or for storing sweaters.
I realize the next logical jump for most people is “Well, use the microwave!” But, I don’t have one. My last apartment had one built in, so I got rid of mine, and…now I have nothing. (Makes me rather wish I’d kept the toaster oven that burned everything I put in it – even charred crap is a variation from Cheerios with milk.)
But as I told my concerned grandmother today – don’t worry. For starters, there’s a nice layer of fat around my ass that will surely sustain me if my nutritional well-being starts to wane. But also, there’s a cafeteria at work, and I eat normal, non-Cheerios meals there for lunch Monday thru Friday.
Furthermore, there is an end in sight to this whole grain madness. You see, the box is running low, and I will soon run out and be forced to eat something else from the cupboard…like corn flakes. (But when those run out, I’m really in trouble.)
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